Cold April

Holy smokes, it's almost the end of April already and yet it feels like we're still in mid-March. It's been so cold this month, I'm starting to wonder if spring will ever fully arrive.

For all who are wondering, I'm doing great after my ultra long walk the other day with my close friend D... The main things that were bothering me were my ankles and my Achilles tendons. I barely felt anything in my legs and back. Even my bum shoulder is feeling great, and I have more mobility in it since our walk. Not sure what did that, maybe swinging it back and forth so much during that 90 minute stint? 

As hoped, I was able to take my regular walk yesterday, but with a little extra tacked on to it. Husband - who goes with me once in a while - and I walked down to the one road and back... It's about 1/3 of a mile one way, or 2/3 mile round trip. 

Now I did make a mistake in my calculations in my previous entry. I said to the stream and back it was 1/4 mile round trip. It's actually 1/4 mile one way, making it 1/2 mile round trip. 

Oops. So I've been walking a lot more than I realized. That's good, right? :) 

I remembered the camera this time around - it's only a point and shoot idiot proof one, a purple Vivitar - and snapped a few photos. You can see the buds coming out on the trees more, and the greens are starting to become more and more vivid. 

The last one is our lone daffodil. It doesn't come up every year, but it is so pretty when it does make an appearance. 

I've also learned a few things about the things I'm eating... I'm now counting a lot of things, like calories, and taking note that just because something "looks" healthy or says "whole grain", etc, doesn't mean it's healthy or right for someone with my condition. I've become one hell of a label reader, and I've noticed that the less of a certain type of food I eat, the better I'm feeling. I do have to keep things within a certain guidelines, but I'm finding that on the lower part of that scale is best for me... So I'm now adapting my eating habits and grocery list to suit that even more. 

Let's just say I'm noticing a huge difference in only three days. It's a pain in the ass to keep track of certain things, but I think in the end, this will be a good chunk of my daily maintenance and bringing myself back to my old self again. It's not just good for my body to do this, it's good for my mental health and overall well being. I find the better I feel physically, the better I am mentally, and that means I'm more productive in the run of a day.

My long term goal is to get back into a size 10. I don't expect that to happen for a few years yet. My doctor wants me to lose weight, but only 2 or 3 pounds per month. If you lose it too fast, it'll come back so much easier. Slow but steady wins the race in this case. :)

Have a lovely weekend everyone... My writing day got preempted by a school inservice this week. No worries, I still have a few extra left between now and the end of the school year. :)

Follow the Mud Brown Road...

Today was a great day.

Yes, it was cool outside this morning, and we had *snow* yesterday (PUKE!!!), but once the sun was up, things warmed up fast and the white crap started melting. The car was pretty much cleaned off by the time I got to my longtime friend D's place, about five miles from here. 

As y'all know, I've been back to my routine of walking to the stream and back, while listening to heavy metal cranked up in my earbuds on the MP3 player.

I didn't have to do that today... My pal D - who I've known for about 30 years, we met in elementary school - and I have decided we are going to be walking more, and on days we're able to, do it together. If I'm unable to make it to her house, or she's working, we'll just do our regular routine each day. 

I'm still trying to build up my endurance, so D decided we'd take it slow and go at my pace. Her youngest Pembroke Welsh Corgi, Lucy, tagged along, and it made the walk more fun. Our route went along a dirt road not far from D's house, and it was pitted with lots of mud puddles. Of course, Miss Lucy loves water, and was walking through the deeper and bigger ones when she felt like it. She even tried swimming a few times, but the water wasn't deep enough even for a dog with dwarf legs. It was cute. 

D motivated me to keep going even after I started getting winded. I'm still overweight, still not used to being on the feet constantly, and still feeling the effects of being a smoker for over 20 years, even though I'm almost 2 years into my quit. Each time I started huffing and puffing, we'd stop for a few, long enough for my breath to even out, and as soon as I felt ready, we'd start again. 

We walked all the way back to the beaver dam, not far from the former town reservoir... We stood on the bridge, noted a few things, didn't see the beavers swimming around, and kept Lucy from jumping off the bridge for a swim - I understand she loves to swim, and would have loved to go this morning. Unfortunately the water is too dirty and murky, so no swimming back there for the dogs. Or humans too.

The way back went so much faster, and I had a second wind. By the time we reached D's house, I was starting to get winded again but felt great mentally. 

We told her father where we stopped and turned back. He thought for a moment and told us it was a total of two miles to the beaver dam, or thereabouts.

Wait, two miles one way means the round trip was... 

FOUR MILES...?????

Seriously??? 

Are you fecking kidding me??? 

I walked four miles in ONE stint? My regular routine to the stream and back is a QUARTER MILE, ROUND TRIP. I'm just getting to the point of doing the entire thing without getting tired or winded. 

Whoa. *blinking!* 

I thought we were going to do half a mile one way, tops... Wound up doing four times that! LOL 

Well, it looks like I'm going to be able to add more to the routine, starting tomorrow. I'm still going to gradually build things up... Today was D's way of showing me I *CAN* do it, with motivation... And an adorable corgi loving me up when I needed it. It was Lucy's way of saying I can do this, and I did. :) 

My goal is to be able to go to the line for the next community and back without getting sick, tired or overly winded by the end of summer. That's one mile one way, or two miles round trip. D wants my endurance to be higher than that, but I'm going to set a goal I know I can reach on my own... I can't always get out walking with her, so I think a mile one way is good for the time being. 

Note to self: I am going to wear out the sneakers much faster now... Oh well! LOL 

Of course, my reward for the walk was extra loving from Lucy and the rest of D's dogs and her cat... Her cat seems to love me, because whenever I go there, she talks to me a lot and today, let me pet her on her head, and she even gave me a smooch. I just love Cat, and she knows it too... She's pure gray and so pretty. 

My old corgi pal Tucker, who was at the beach with D and I a couple of years ago, was very happy to see me once he clued in I was there. When I was copying a file from my portable hard drive to her computer, he laid on my feet and made a lot of contented noises. Yeah, I love him too and he knows it. LOL 

D has about six dogs at the moment, but one is her nephew's... That baby girl is staying with her "Auntie" for a visit. I just love each and every one of them, they are all sweet natured, and all beautiful... So easy to love. 

She gave me a LOT of tea bags too, various flavors. I've discovered I love English Breakfast, and she included other ones that look awesome... One cup of the brewed stuff per day, tea is loaded with anti-oxidents, and it's healthy. 

I may replace the old green tea with the English Breakfast. Fermented (black) tea is really good for you too... Tee hee. 

I'm tired, and sore, and I may not make it down the stairs without help tomorrow morning, but it's worth it. 

D proved to me that with a lot of motivation, some extra coaxing, frequent rests, a slower pace, and of course, the most adorable and sweet natured corgi walking companion, that I can do it... 

Taking a Vitamin B tablet before I went helped too, it woke me up and gave me extra energy... Natural too, no caffeine. Tee hee. 

I'm so grateful she did. Now that I know I can, maybe, just maybe I'll be able to get myself back on track and get back into my ultra small jeans sometime in the future.

Have a great week everyone, enjoy the remainder of your Wednesday! :)

Rock N Rolling With It

Fall is in the air, and today was proof of it. We had frost last night, and Son and I just about froze at the bus stop despite wearing our spring/fall jackets.

It was still rather crisp at 10 a.m., when I decided to get myself offline, get my favorite hoodie on, dig out the old MP3 player and get outside for a bit. I wanted to capture some of the fall foliage with the camera, so it turned into a walk down to the stream and back, about 10 minutes each way.

It's not very colorful down this way. Our summer came late, so did the warmer weather, and things have been thrown way off. We do have some colors this year, but things are either still green or going straight to brown for the most part.

Some of the plants growing alongside of the road are brighter than the trees this year so far...

But that's okay. I still got out of the house for a bit, reset my brain from "online mode" to "offline/relaxing mode" and enjoyed the crisp, sweet smelling air.

This gorgeous flower is in full bloom, down by the stream. I saw it and couldn't help taking photos of it...

I was so invigorated when I got into the house, that I opened up the windows, and booted up Word. I was planning on working on the rest of the supporting cast and other names today, but things got a little... weird....

It seems that I'm not completely burned out as an author after all. It took seven months of being ill, stressed out, and other things, but I'm finally over that hump and back into things.. I hope.

Yes, the drought seems to be over finally... "Thirteen" officially has a main manuscript file, and there is one complete scene in it, the opener.... And the second one was started.

I don't remember much about the time I was writing that first scene. It's a bit of a blur... But it looks okay for an ultra rough draft so far, and it is within what I wanted for it... I may add or remove stuff from it over time, but that's normal. I got its rough draft started and hopefully something will come out of this, I do not want this to be just a trickle and stop again... I want to keep writing.

It felt awesome to be writing again, even if it was only 600 words. It's better than nothing, right?

At this point, I think I have most of the main players picked out... I have a few other things to create and name, but I can do that once I'm a little more into this one. I just hope some of my pals are up to brainstorming names for different things with me when the time is right...

I did get a few things done with some of the character bios, notably the leading male and some of the supporting cast even though writing took over the research and setting personality traits and so forth.

If I can get 500 words once a week, I'm going to be happy... Anything is better than not writing!!

Have a great weekend everyone, and if you are celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving, have a wonderful and safe holiday and long weekend!

A New Season, A New Reason to Keep Believing....

The last couple of weeks have been interesting, to say the least..........

Schools have been open only three weeks and the germs are spreading faster than the speed of light. Son has already had 2 sick days, Monday and Tuesday of this week, and I guess there were a lot of students out sick the last couple of weeks from illness.

No surprise. This happens every year. What surprised me was that it was this long before Son got something. Normally it's within two weeks, not three...

Yesterday, I got some great news regarding my health.

Remember how I said I have been ill the last while? Well, one of the conditions I was diagnosed with is now GONE and I've been given a clean bill of health on that front.

HUGE RELIEF. It's now just a case of checking things every couple of years unless something seems off. Business as before things went nutso.

Even better, the lifelong condition I was diagnosed with this past spring is now under control.

It's not like I can just forget about it and go back to the unhealthy stuff I was doing though. This is a lifelong condition. Once you have it, it's there ALWAYS and you are constantly monitoring it, and doing what you can to stay healthy and keep it under control.

I guess I am doing something right. Four months, that's all it took, from diagnosis to this point.

WHEW. You see, the family member who was diagnosed with this same condition, the one I inherited it from, passed away within 6 months of finding out they had it. I think I had it in the back of my mind that it's an automatic death sentence, despite proof otherwise -other family members and friends with the exact same condition who are perfectly fine and have had it for years.

I'm now seeing it isn't. In fact, living a longer, healthier life is the perfect motivation to keep positive and stick around for a few more decades. :)

Kitty Zaniness alert.............

Monitor Kitteh has made her fall debut... No surprise, the weather is getting cooler, and since the monitor is warm, she likes to toast her bum on top of it......

Yes, those are two different monitors. My old one croaked last month. It didn't owe us anything. It was one I purchased second hand from a friend of ours about 8 years ago, and it was old then.

As you can see in the photo, the color was way off and there was a line of black going across part of the screen. The picture tube in it was giving out.

My old Philips monitor, on its last legs.

The new monitor is still the same huge, clunky picture tube style, but it's newer... And black. It matches the computer, mouse and keyboard perfectly. It was given to me by a friend of ours, she now has a laptop and doesn't need a monitor for a desktop.

Much better, eh?

The new Dell monitor. It's a flat screen. 

Hey, Amber approves of it! She's always sitting on top of it and watching the neighborhood.

Amber watching for her "boyfriend", the neighbor's cat Ringo.

Idiot cat.

*sigh*

Writing update......

My beta team members are still taking their time to go over Hearts Remembering. So that one isn't allowed to be touched until I hear back from all of them.

HOWEVER.......

I am finally feeling up to doing something new, writing wise. Or old, depending on how you look at it.

Last week, I had my usual Friday to work, and I actually did something. It's not a lot, no actual "writing" per se (although Heather calls it writing, I call it PRELIM WORK... PEAPOD *NYAH*) I started detailed character bios, did a preliminary/short summary and started jotting down both general and adult scene ideas for it.

I'm not sure if anything will come out of it, but hey, it's a start, right? :) We shall see how this one goes.

It felt SO GOOD to be back into it again...

Yeah, I'm definitely feeling more and more like myself again.

Talk about a great feeling.

*goofy grin*

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! :)

****************************************

AUTHOR'S EXTRA: 

To anyone who was hoping things would stay out of whack - with my health, writing and everything else about my life....

F**K you. 

I'm more than surviving this. I'm going to beat it all to hell and back, and keep going. I'm not going to let this keep me down.

Y'all know damn well that *I* am too damn sunny natured to let it.

Go ahead, keep wasting your energy on wishing and hoping and whatever else you're trying to do... Keep lurking at my areas, in hopes you catch something you can speculate on and hope it's something bad happening to me, out of spite for me seeing your true colors... And before you can say I am "one to talk", maybe if you actually *looked* at the REAL pattern of your sorry, hate filled, drama stirring, victim playing life, you'd grow up and shut up instead of blaming everyone else but the real cause of your "problems"...

YOU.

It's your life and your choice, after all. Not mine, or anyone else's.


YOUR CHOICE.

But narcissists don't see it that way unfortunately.

*tsk* My bad.

Me, I'm just going to keep going ahead, not look back at all, focus on REALITY instead of a fantasy life, keep writing, accept what I can't change, change what I can, and love life completely.

That is my life and my choice.

*smug grin*

Summer 2015, Round One...

First of all, Congrats to the Chicago Blackhawks on winning the Stanley Cup again this year!

And before anyone asks, no, I'd rather NOT talk about my Leafs. Ugh. (Can I shoot their former GM now or later??? GAH!!)

Secondly, summer vacation is HERE and Son will be going into Grade 5 with flying colors. Again, his report card was all As and Bs... minus a C in French. He despises speaking or hearing any language other than our mother tongue of English.

I've been learning a few Mi'kMaq words and throwing them at him sometimes, just for something to do. I get screamed at and a huge "I SPEAK ENGLISH!" screamed in my ear.

The ringing it causes is worth it though, just to get Son going... *looks innocent*

Well, this summer, it's official: I have no stories in progress so I'm not going batty for that reason. "Hearts Remembering" is in stasis again, after a few runs through, and my (now smaller) beta team will be getting it sometime soon, preferably before August 1 if I can do it. I just haven't been up to working the last while, that's why....

I owe all of my followers, family, friends and fans a huge apology for not posting any entries for the last three months.

You see, I've been very ill the last while.

So ill that one of the trips to a specialist saw me in bed, flat on my back and in full body agony for two days.

I've been foggy, feeling nauseated, weak, and a whole lot of other things I won't mention publicly since April, and it's only starting to improve now. I'm still not there by a long shot but I will be, sometime before the end of the year, or so I'm hoping!

It started out with a bad round of anemia - which I'm happy to say is gone! - and led into me finding out I had turned a huge corner and now have a lifelong condition that needs constant monitoring. It's not anything like cancer or something that serious, it's a condition that I had a 50-50 chance of getting thanks to a parent having it, and I was the unlucky one out of the three to have it. It's not a really big deal, once I get things under control. Unlike my parent, mine was diagnosed within six months of it starting, so with a lot of work, I should have a good long life after my diagnosis. It's just a matter of time, getting things balanced just so, and keeping it that way.

So far, so good, although the balance hasn't been reached yet. I'm getting there though! One day at a time. I've lost 15 pounds already - maybe more, I will know for sure at my next visit with our family doctor (I love her!) - and I've noticed my jeans are really starting to hang on me. My feet are not as swollen as they were before my diagnosis, I'm not retaining a lot of water because I've cut out a lot of salt in my diet, both via cutting out processed foods as well as adding a lot of salt to my homemade stuff, and I'm feeling a little more brighter and not as likely to shoot someone.

I do have STRICT orders to cut anything that stresses me out of my life - temporary or permanently - because a lot of stress will aggravate my condition. Some stress is expected but in some cases, it's perfectly avoidable, especially when one is surrounded by narcissistic, stupid and sneaky jerks.

Let's just say if I don't have you blocked in FB or other spots, I still care and there's a chance I will talk to you again in time.

That said, if I have you blocked anywhere, I'm indifferent and done with you permanently... So please, get over yourself, stop pretending I'm "lurking, watching and reading" everything you do, and face the fact I'm DONE and couldn't care less what you're doing or if you've found something new to play the victim about.

Oh, wait, that's right, people I've blocked can't face the truth.

Their fragile little egos would have a breakdown if they saw it.

*tsk* My bad.

I'm now wondering what the reactions would have been if I still hung out in certain spots.

I'm betting I'd be treated like I was still perfectly healthy, despite all of the evidence proving otherwise... And I would have been expected to do things ALONE again like I was expected for three days last summer this time... except I'm thinking this time around, it would have been a much, MUCH longer duration, out of spite... All because I WAS SICK and the others couldn't handle it, just like they couldn't last year when things were screwy after that hurricane hit us last year... Not that I fell for it. They can deny it all they want but the timing was just too "conveeeeeenient" for it to be as they claimed it was.

I wish people would stop thinking I'm stupid or naive, cause I'm really not.

You can't fool someone who has already been fooled like that before, because they can smell it a thousand miles away.

Anyway................ Have a wonderful week everyone! I'll update when things start picking up here again, possibly halfway through summer vacation.

Only 8 1/2 weeks to go until school starts in my district. Son can't wait.

Me, I'm fine having him home! :)

Kicking the Caffeinated Soda Habit - UPDATE!

Yesterday was another milestone in my life... A good one but it took a long road for me to get where I am now.
Two years ago, I was finding I was having problems sleeping, my tachycardia and blood pressure were WAY out of whack and I was gaining weight like crazy... I started looking at every aspect of my lifestyle and realized that I was guzzling WAAAAAAAAAAY too much soda, notably caffeinated cola... I was addicted to the stuff and HAD to have it else I'd get the shakes and get snarky with everyone. I drank it pretty much from right after I had my morning coffee until midnight each day. I was drinking way too much of it.
I'm talking over one US GALLON of it a day, folks. That's 2 x 2L bottles of the stuff in ONE DAY on my own. There is over 8 tablespoons of sugar in ONE glass... Think about how many tablespoons of sugar I was guzzling in one day just by drinking that much regular soda! No wonder why I was gaining weight!
So I talked things over with my doctor and he said to cut back slowly, like cut out two or three large glasses of the stuff out per day a week until I was down to one small glass per day. He said that much wouldn't hurt me but I was scared that even having only one small glass of it would lead me back to being addicted to it again... 
So I decided to go cold turkey on the caffeinated soda. Hubby and I looked around for regular soda that didn't have caffeine in it to help me out but the only thing cola wise that we could find without caffeine in it was the decaffeinated DIET variety... So after thinking about it, I got a bottle of it to help fool the brain and taste buds into thinking I was drinking regular soda and started down the long road to breaking the habit.
At first it was horrible... I had the shakes, I was nauseated, I was snarking at everyone and I just was NOT feeling great at all. I was drinking the decaf diet stuff constantly but at first it didn't help me at all. I considered just giving up and going back to the addiction...
But I had so many people rooting for me... The instant I said I didn't think I could do it, I had people cheering me on... So many people from so many places telling me that I CAN do it, both in real life and on various boards/sites. 
It is thanks to EVERYONE's support that I managed to get through those first few VERY long weeks of breaking the addiction... Even though I no longer talk to some people who had cheered me on, I am very grateful for their help, as I'm very grateful for those whom I still talk to! If it wasn't for all of you who cheered me on or kicked me in the rear when I felt like I couldn't do it, I probably wouldn't have been able to kick the caffeinated soda habit... Seriously! In cases like this, the more support one gets, the better the chances they will succeed and I am thanking each and every single one of you who supported me... My family, my local friends, my online buddies (from places like MW, ESF, Sanctuary, PBF, Facebook, etc)... I can't thank y'all enough for being there and supporting me when I needed y'all the most! 
Two years later, I'm more healthy... I've probably reduced my sugar intake by 800%, my caffeine has reduced by over 1000% (I've also switched to half caff coffee so I don't guzzle caffeine that way!) and I've lost weight by giving up regular soda alone! I'm sleeping better at night, the frequency of my headaches has gone WAAAAAAAAAY down because I'm getting the sleep I need each night, my tachycardia and blood pressure have evened out and I'm feeling SO much better about myself! Yes, I do still drink soda but it's the decaf-diet stuff. Regular soda tastes TOO sweet and sickening to me these days... Diet (decaf) soda is more to my tastebud's liking believe it or not!
I can't believe I've done it... I never thought I could do this but I have... And if I can kick the regular cola habit, anything is possible! 
Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone... I'll post another blog if I can get any new material added to Untitled #7 later today!
~Veridian~